Yesterday was a sad day. My daughter found out the baby she was carrying was not going to ever be born, that there was no heartbeat. This baby was a surprise. They have one biological son and three children who are adopted. At this point in life, they did not think they would or could have another biological child. Libby had plans; plans for mission trips and ministry; plans for family trips; not plans for another baby. There were a lot of reasons that a baby at this time in life was not a good idea. But, way above all those things was the overwhelming joy and excitement that God had seen fit to perform a miracle.
As a grandmother, I was not at all concerned about any of the hard things, I was just excited and happy about a new grandchild, and thrilled that God was working in this way.
Right now, I am a little sad, but not very much. My emotions are usually delayed. I don’t have an emotional reaction right away. At this point, my head knows that this is sad news, but the news has not reached my heart yet.
Mostly, I am confused. God came in and did something wonderful. He created a life in a miraculous way. We rejoiced and praised Him. Now, that life is gone. The baby is in heaven with Jesus, without ever living here with us. Why did God do that? I have no answer to that question. I am even hesitant to write what is in my heart right now, because it might sound trite. “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21
I have no answers to the big WHY, but, I know that God is good, and, for now, that is enough.
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