Sweet Submission 2

1 Peter 3:1-6
 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3  Your adornment must not be merely external — braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be  the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. 


Yesterday I wrote a post about submission, including 6 things that submission is not. Today, I am pointing out 5 things that submission is, based on Peter's words. 


1. Knowing when to keep quiet. 
Peter says that the unbelieving husband can be won without a word. I am sure Peter does not mean that a woman can cause her husband to give his life to Christ by using the silent treatment. Peter is instructing the wife to be wise about what she is saying to try to get her husband to believe. She should cheerfully and pleasantly drop the subject once the husband has made it clear that he has heard enough. This is also good advice for a wife to influence even a Christian husband. First, Peter forbids a wife to nag her husband with the gospel. Nagging, by my definition, is simply trying to wear down another by repeating the same things over and over. Second, Peter forbids arguing, trying to change his mind by continually approaching the discussion from a different point of view, by trying convince him by intelligence or manipulation.  The book of Proverbs describes just how unpleasant this is.

Prov 21:9
9 It is better to live in a corner of a roof
Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. 
Prov 27:15-16
5 A constant dripping on a day of steady rain
And a contentious woman are alike; 
16 He who would restrain her restrains the wind,
And grasps oil with his right hand. 


2. Having respectful behavior
Peter goes one step further, telling wives to be nice! The wives behavior should reflect the new life that she has. If a Christian woman is married to an unbelieving man, then her behavior must reflect Christ. Her actions need to show the character of Christ, pleasant and winsome, good and kind. Husbands should be able to see a difference, and that is what will make him want to come to Christ. 


3. Having a focus on the inner, not the outer woman. 


Peter particularly instructs married women about their priorities concerning true beauty. There is nothing wrong with dressing in a way that pleases one’s mate. It is no sin to be well-dressed. But it is wrong to be preoccupied with outward appearances at the expense of inward beauty. The point is to be more concerned about the inner person. That is pretty hard in our culture. We are bombarded with impulses that make us unhappy with our physical appearance. God says, "take care of the temple I gave you, but don't make that your focus."

4. Having a gentle and quiet spirit.

Peter is not talking about a personality type. God does not want all of us to have the same kind of quiet personality. Peter is talking about a spirit that is at peace, a peace that comes from trusting God. A woman who puts her faith and her hope in God had a peace about her that is expressed through a quietness in her deepest part, a tranquility from within. 

5. Hoping in God 

The word translated hope also means trust. The source of our strength is God. When we face hardships, struggles, trials and sufferings, we  look to God. 

Heb 6:19-20

 This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil, 20  where Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us, having become a high priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.

The hope we have in God is an anchor which keeps us steady, secure, keeps us in place. 

6. Not fearing 

The hope we have in God produces fearlessness. When I know that my God is in charge, when I am absolutely secure in God's love, when I place my hope and trust in Him, then I have nothing to fear. 

Does this look like submission? I don't think that this kind of submission is anything negative. I want to have this kind of life, a life that reflects Christ to everyone I am with, including my husband. I want to know when to be quiet. Who wants to be a nag? Not me. I don't want to be quarrelsome and difficult. Having my priorities straight is not asking too much. I want to focus on my inner beauty. Outer beauty decays, inner beauty can get better with age. That is great freedom. Inner peace and tranquility is something definitely worth striving for. All of this issues out of living with my hope and trust set on God. 

Those are the reasons that I have called this a sweet sub

Sweet Submission

I am really enjoying studying 1 Peter for our Sunday School class. This week, we looked at 1 Peter 3. I often don't like to hear about submitting, but I really enjoyed this, and want to share it. 



1 Peter 3:1-6
 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3  Your adornment must not be merely external — braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be  the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.


When Peter started the passage with "In the same way", he is referring back to what he has just said, that we are to follow Jesus example, who, when suffering, put his trust in Him who judges righteously. So, right away, before he addresses the wives, he makes it clear that this is something we are to do by putting our trust in God. Submitting is about obeying and trusting GOD. 


Then, he gives the command to be submissive. What does it mean to sumbit??? I have seen a lot of extremes in this area. From the modern feminist woman who refuses to even hear the word submit, who beats her husband down and emasculates him; or just strong willed Christian who talks about submitting, but acts in the same manner; to the woman who believes she can’t make a decision without asking her husband, who refuses to ever disagree or stand up to him in any area. I believe there is a balance. There are some things that submission does not mean. I found a good description of this from John Piper. I use his list because he is a man, a Pastor, a respected Bible teacher. He carries some weight. 

Six Things Submission Does Not Mean

1. Agreeing with Everything

Submission does not mean agreeing with everything your husband says. You can see that in verse 1: she is a Christian and he is not. He has one set of ideas about ultimate reality. She has another. Peter calls her to be submissive while assuming she will not submit to his view of the most important thing in the world—God. So submission can't mean submitting to agree with all her husband thinks.

2. Leaving Your Brain or Will at the Altar

Submission does not mean leaving your brain or your will at the wedding altar. It is not the inability or the unwillingness to think for yourself. Here is a woman who heard the gospel of Jesus Christ. She thought about it. She assessed the truth claims of Jesus. She apprehended in her heart the beauty and worth Christ and his work, and she chose him. Her husband heard it also. Otherwise Peter probably wouldn't say he "disobeyed the word." He has heard the Word and he has thought about it. And he has not chosen Christ. She thought for herself and she acted. And Peter does not tell her to retreat from that commitment.

3. Avoiding Every Effort to Change a Husband

Submission does not mean avoiding every effort to change a husband. The whole point of this text is to tell a wife how to "win" her husband. Verse 1 says, "Be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won." If you didn't care about the biblical context, you might say, "Submission has to mean, taking a husband the way he is and not trying to change him." But if you care about the context, you conclude that submission, paradoxically, is a strategy for changing him.

The goal of this text is to help wives bring about the most profound change in their husbands that can be imagined—the transformation from being a spiritually dead unbeliever to a spiritually alive believer. Submission does not say, "I renounce all efforts to change my husband." What it does say we'll see in a moment.

4. Putting a Husband's Will Before Christ's Will

Submission does not mean putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ. The text clearly teaches that the wife is a follower of Jesus before and above being a follower of her husband. He is going on the path of unbelief. She does not follow him in that, because she has been called to be a disciple of Jesus. Submission to Jesus relativizes submission to husbands—and governments and employers and parents. When Sarah calls Abraham "lord" in verse 6, it's lord with a little "l." It's like "sir." And the obedience she renders is secondary obedience, under and because of and filtered through obedience to the LORD with a capital "L."

5. Getting Personal, Spiritual Strength from a Husband

Submission does not mean that a wife gets her personal, spiritual strength from her husband. A good husband should indeed strengthen and build up and sustain his wife. He should be a source of strength. There are ways in which a wife is the "weaker vessel" as verse 7 says. But what this text shows is that when a husband's spiritual nurturing and leadership is lacking, a Christian wife is not bereft of strength. Submission does not mean she is dependent on him to supply her strength of faith and virtue and character. The text assumes just the opposite. She is summoned to develop depth and strength and character not from her husband but for her husband. Verse 5 says that her hope is in God, not the husband.

6. Acting out of Fear

Finally submission does not mean that a wife is to act out of fear. Verse 6b says, "You have become [Sarah's] children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear." In other words submission is free, not coerced by fear. The Christian woman is a free woman. When she submits to her husband—whether he is a believer or unbeliever—she does it in freedom, not out of fear.

I thought those were some good points. Now, my thoughts on what submission does mean. 

OK, this post got really long, so I deleted the rest and will post my thoughts tomorrow. 

Personal Prayer Retreat

Finally. It's been years coming. For a few years, I have wanted, and felt God called me to go away for two days just to be with God, mostly for prayer. It was harder to do than you would think.

First, my husband wouldn't let me. He was pretty sure if I went to away somewhere really secluded (which was the idea) alone (again the purpose), I would be eaten by a bear or kidnapped. If I were to survive those disasters, I would likely fall down, be bitten by snake, and not be able to get any help.
 I know, I could spend hours praying and reading at home, but, at home, there is always something to do, something to distract me, always things that need to be done. I needed to be where I could not see any laundry, dust, or weeds! 
Well, recently, a friend made arrangements for me to stay in the home of a friend of hers. The house is huge, and very nice, and sits on a 1000 acre ranch, in the county, secluded, but with a phone line, a locked gate, and is 20 minutes from home! The home owner was going on a cruise and said she would be happy for me to use the house while she is gone. Les said I could go... So, last Tuesday I was finally able to get away. I stayed until Thursday.
AMAZING. I can't begin to describe how special the time was.
I had time to sit and listen to God. I asked God some questions and listened for His answers. He spoke to me, showed me some things. I spent some time just sitting, purposefully just being still and quite. I read some, walked some, and prayed. I prayed for my family, for the church, for some ministry needs, for some friends. I didn't have any huge burdens, and huge issues to pray for, just the need to be in communication with God.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to have that time. And very thankful for the friend who allowed me to use her beautiful home.

Christian love is love that gows

This post was from my study in 1Peter. I wrote it long ago, but I just realized it never posted. When I read it, I thought it was worthy of posting, so, here goes.

In Peter's first letter, he tells the believers that we are to have a love for each other that is growing and maturing. 


1 Peter 1:22
22 Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart 

Peter tells us that we have love for the brethren, but tells us TO love one another. 

In this verse, Peter uses two different Greek words for love.
We begin, as born again Christians, who have had our souls purified, to love the brothers. The word Peter used here is filadelfian, which comes form the word fileo, brotherly love, fondness, feeling of affection (NT:5368 o be a friend to (fond of [an individual or an object]), i.e. have affection for (denoting personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling;). We have this love in a sincere form, without hypocrisy. This is the love that is expected. Peter takes for granted that we would all have this kind of love. This brotherly love is the base line, the starting point.

Then he gives the command, fervently love, agapeesete,  Godly love (NT:5368 wider, embracing especially the judgment and the deliberate assent of the will as a matter of principle, duty and propriety) godlike sacrificial love.

Love of brothers comes easily and quickly…when we like them. Sometimes we just feel a connection and we have a sincere love, nothing fake, but a true brotherly affection.
To continue in love, we have to make a judgment, deliberate assent, a decision.
Our love should grow. It begins with brotherly love, friendship, connection, companionship love. It grows to a love that is based on a decision, a set of the will and the mind to love, a love that will continue no matter what, a love that is willing to sacrifice for others, a love that considers the others above ourselves, that looks out for their best interest.  We share agape love because we belong to God and therefore can overlook differences.
Christian love is not a feeling, it is a matter of the will. We show love to others when we treat them the same way God treats us. God forgives us, so we forgive others. God is kind to us, so we are kind to others. It is not a matter of feeling but of willing, and this is something we must constantly work at if we are to succeed.

This is the word that is most often used for love in the NT.  Almost every time Jesus spoke of love, he used the form of Agape.
I am reminded of John 21, when Jesus spoke to Peter after his resurrection. He asked Peter, do you Agape me and Peter replied, I fileo you. Again, Do you Agape me; Lord, you know I fileo You. Then Jesus said, Peter, do you fileo me. Peter said, You know I fileo you.
Now Peter is telling his readers. I know you have fileo that is real, sincere, but you must have agape.
 AGAPE love is used in the verses below.
Jesus tells us that we are to have this kind of love for each other, a love that is based on commitment, that will last.
Mark 12:30-31
 30 AND YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH.'  31 "The second is this, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' There is no other commandment greater than these."
John 13:34
 34 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
This is the kind of love that Christ loves us with, a love that caused Him to give His life for us.
Eph 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
Paul describes this kind of love in 1 Corinthians 13.
1 Cor 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind and  is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,  6  does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7  bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Peter goes on to say that we are to fervently love one another.  We are to love fervently, intently. The only other time this Greek word is used is in Acts 12:5,
" Peter therefore was kept in prison: but prayer was made without ceasing of the church unto God for him…"  without ceasing is the same word. This is an athletic term that means "striving with all of one's energy." Love is something we have to work at, just as an Olympic contestant has to work at his particular skills. That is the way we are to love.