1 Peter 3:1-6
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3 Your adornment must not be merely external — braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
When Peter started the passage with "In the same way", he is referring back to what he has just said, that we are to follow Jesus example, who, when suffering, put his trust in Him who judges righteously. So, right away, before he addresses the wives, he makes it clear that this is something we are to do by putting our trust in God. Submitting is about obeying and trusting GOD.
Then, he gives the command to be submissive. What does it mean to sumbit??? I have seen a lot of extremes in this area. From the modern feminist woman who refuses to even hear the word submit, who beats her husband down and emasculates him; or just strong willed Christian who talks about submitting, but acts in the same manner; to the woman who believes she can’t make a decision without asking her husband, who refuses to ever disagree or stand up to him in any area. I believe there is a balance. There are some things that submission does not mean. I found a good description of this from John Piper. I use his list because he is a man, a Pastor, a respected Bible teacher. He carries some weight.
Six Things Submission Does Not Mean
1. Agreeing with Everything
Submission
does not mean agreeing with everything your husband says. You can see that in
verse 1: she is a Christian and he is not. He has one set of ideas about
ultimate reality. She has another. Peter calls her to be submissive while
assuming she will not submit to his view of the most important thing in the
world—God. So submission can't mean submitting to agree with all her husband
thinks.
2. Leaving Your Brain or Will at the Altar
Submission
does not mean leaving your brain or your will at the wedding altar. It is not
the inability or the unwillingness to think for yourself. Here is a woman who
heard the gospel of Jesus Christ. She thought about it. She assessed the truth
claims of Jesus. She apprehended in her heart the beauty and worth Christ and
his work, and she chose him. Her husband heard it also. Otherwise Peter
probably wouldn't say he "disobeyed the word." He has heard the Word
and he has thought about it. And he has not chosen Christ. She thought for
herself and she acted. And Peter does not tell her to retreat from that
commitment.
3. Avoiding Every Effort to Change a Husband
Submission
does not mean avoiding every effort to change a husband. The whole point of
this text is to tell a wife how to "win" her husband. Verse 1 says,
"Be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are
disobedient to the word, they may be won." If you didn't care about the
biblical context, you might say, "Submission has to mean, taking a husband
the way he is and not trying to change him." But if you care about the
context, you conclude that submission, paradoxically, is a strategy for
changing him.
The
goal of this text is to help wives bring about the most profound change in
their husbands that can be imagined—the transformation from being a spiritually
dead unbeliever to a spiritually alive believer. Submission does not say,
"I renounce all efforts to change my husband." What it does say we'll
see in a moment.
4. Putting a Husband's Will Before Christ's
Will
Submission
does not mean putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ. The
text clearly teaches that the wife is a follower of Jesus before and above
being a follower of her husband. He is going on the path of unbelief. She does
not follow him in that, because she has been called to be a disciple of Jesus.
Submission to Jesus relativizes submission to husbands—and governments and
employers and parents. When Sarah calls Abraham "lord" in verse 6,
it's lord with a little "l." It's like "sir." And the
obedience she renders is secondary obedience, under and because of and filtered
through obedience to the LORD with a capital "L."
5. Getting Personal, Spiritual Strength from a
Husband
Submission
does not mean that a wife gets her personal, spiritual strength from her
husband. A good husband should indeed strengthen and build up and sustain his
wife. He should be a source of strength. There are ways in which a wife is the
"weaker vessel" as verse 7 says. But what this text shows is that
when a husband's spiritual nurturing and leadership is lacking, a Christian
wife is not bereft of strength. Submission does not mean she is dependent on
him to supply her strength of faith and virtue and character. The text assumes
just the opposite. She is summoned to develop depth and strength and character
not from her husband but for her husband. Verse 5 says that her hope is in God,
not the husband.
6. Acting out of Fear
Finally
submission does not mean that a wife is to act out of fear. Verse 6b says,
"You have become [Sarah's] children if you do what is right without being
frightened by any fear." In other words submission is free, not coerced by
fear. The Christian woman is a free woman. When she submits to her
husband—whether he is a believer or unbeliever—she does it in freedom, not out
of fear.
I thought those were some good points. Now, my thoughts on what submission does mean.
OK, this post got really long, so I deleted the rest and will post my thoughts tomorrow.
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