Sweet Submission 2

1 Peter 3:1-6
 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3  Your adornment must not be merely external — braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be  the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. 


Yesterday I wrote a post about submission, including 6 things that submission is not. Today, I am pointing out 5 things that submission is, based on Peter's words. 


1. Knowing when to keep quiet. 
Peter says that the unbelieving husband can be won without a word. I am sure Peter does not mean that a woman can cause her husband to give his life to Christ by using the silent treatment. Peter is instructing the wife to be wise about what she is saying to try to get her husband to believe. She should cheerfully and pleasantly drop the subject once the husband has made it clear that he has heard enough. This is also good advice for a wife to influence even a Christian husband. First, Peter forbids a wife to nag her husband with the gospel. Nagging, by my definition, is simply trying to wear down another by repeating the same things over and over. Second, Peter forbids arguing, trying to change his mind by continually approaching the discussion from a different point of view, by trying convince him by intelligence or manipulation.  The book of Proverbs describes just how unpleasant this is.

Prov 21:9
9 It is better to live in a corner of a roof
Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. 
Prov 27:15-16
5 A constant dripping on a day of steady rain
And a contentious woman are alike; 
16 He who would restrain her restrains the wind,
And grasps oil with his right hand. 


2. Having respectful behavior
Peter goes one step further, telling wives to be nice! The wives behavior should reflect the new life that she has. If a Christian woman is married to an unbelieving man, then her behavior must reflect Christ. Her actions need to show the character of Christ, pleasant and winsome, good and kind. Husbands should be able to see a difference, and that is what will make him want to come to Christ. 


3. Having a focus on the inner, not the outer woman. 


Peter particularly instructs married women about their priorities concerning true beauty. There is nothing wrong with dressing in a way that pleases one’s mate. It is no sin to be well-dressed. But it is wrong to be preoccupied with outward appearances at the expense of inward beauty. The point is to be more concerned about the inner person. That is pretty hard in our culture. We are bombarded with impulses that make us unhappy with our physical appearance. God says, "take care of the temple I gave you, but don't make that your focus."

4. Having a gentle and quiet spirit.

Peter is not talking about a personality type. God does not want all of us to have the same kind of quiet personality. Peter is talking about a spirit that is at peace, a peace that comes from trusting God. A woman who puts her faith and her hope in God had a peace about her that is expressed through a quietness in her deepest part, a tranquility from within. 

5. Hoping in God 

The word translated hope also means trust. The source of our strength is God. When we face hardships, struggles, trials and sufferings, we  look to God. 

Heb 6:19-20

 This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil, 20  where Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us, having become a high priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.

The hope we have in God is an anchor which keeps us steady, secure, keeps us in place. 

6. Not fearing 

The hope we have in God produces fearlessness. When I know that my God is in charge, when I am absolutely secure in God's love, when I place my hope and trust in Him, then I have nothing to fear. 

Does this look like submission? I don't think that this kind of submission is anything negative. I want to have this kind of life, a life that reflects Christ to everyone I am with, including my husband. I want to know when to be quiet. Who wants to be a nag? Not me. I don't want to be quarrelsome and difficult. Having my priorities straight is not asking too much. I want to focus on my inner beauty. Outer beauty decays, inner beauty can get better with age. That is great freedom. Inner peace and tranquility is something definitely worth striving for. All of this issues out of living with my hope and trust set on God. 

Those are the reasons that I have called this a sweet sub