Forgiving when they just don't know

On Thursday night at Celebrate Recovery, as Jeannine taught the lesson, she shared the story of a man  who, as he went through the C.R. steps, took the step to forgive some people who had hurt him. He was shocked by the response of some people who did not know they had hurt him, but he told them, "Well, that doesn't matter. Let's just say that the slate is clean."  He remembered Jesus words on the cross, "Father, forgive them because they do not know what they are doing."
I thought about that a lot since then. I want to forgive everybody for everything. I don't always forgive easily, sometimes it takes setting my will to forgive again and again, but I really do not want to hold a grudge or refuse to forgive. HOWEVER, I do want people to understand that I am hurt, and to know why. That is important to me. I want my husband to not just be sorry that I am hurt, but to UNDERSTAND why I am hurt. I want people to REALIZE that I was treated unfairly. I want the person to KNOW that she was rude to me. I want them COMPREHEND how deeply hurt I was my their treatment. It is important to me that people GRASP the impact of their words or actions.
Apparently, that was not important to Jesus. The very fact that the people did not know was the reason that he gave for forgiving them.
That fact really cut to my heart. I want a heart like Jesus. I want to have that attitude, to just forgive, without wanting an apology first. I don't want to hold a grudge, which can easily turn into bitterness, while I wait for an offender to come to realize their offense and apologize.
Lord, make my heart like yours, help me to be quick to forgive, even when they truly do not know what they are doing.

A Little Trip

I went on a little trip to Albuquerque last weekend.
One of my close friends, who is also a dear co-laborer in Women's Ministry, Mary Ann, was planning to visit her children, a daughter who lives in Albuquerque, and a son who lives in Cheyenne, Wyoming.
Her plan was for her husband to take her to Abilene, where she would take a plane to DFW, then change planes to fly to Albuquerque. Because she has stage 4 lung cancer and is very weak, I was concerned about her making the connection and flying alone. I am sure that, with the help of the airport personnel and the wheelchair that her husband had arranged for her, she would have done fine, but I felt that God was moving me to go with her.
So, Thursday morning, I picked up Mary Ann in Comanche and drove with her to Abilene. What a nice airport. The employees there were very helpful and going through security was a breeze. When we got of the plane in DFW, a nice man from Jamaica pushed Mary Ann in the wheelchair, while Mary Ann held her oxygen and I pulled both our bags. See, I was needed after all! We made it to the gate with no time to spare.
In Albuquerque, Mary Ann's dear friend who was at one time her sister in law picked us up and took us to lunch, then dropped us off at her daughter's house.

We had a great time visiting with Josephine. I have heard much of Mary Ann's story before, but found out some of the details. I told her she should write a book. In fact, if I was a writer, I would write her story for her. She has lived through such difficult times, even from early childhood, and experienced enormous hurts, but God has brought her through and she radiates His grace and joy.
Mary Ann's late husband was killed in a small plane crash about 20 years ago, but she is very close to his family, and we spent Saturday with them.
We had planned to ride the SandiaTramway to the top of Sandia Peak on Sunday, but Mary Ann asked us to go without her because she was so tired. I enjoy being with Josephine, and we had a good time, although we hated to see Mary Ann so exhausted and feeling bad.

 
The white flecks on our jackets is snow! It was that cold up there.

 

 She did join us for lunch and a walk around Old Town.

Early Monday morning, Josephine took me back to the airport and I headed home. Mary Ann will spend this week with Josephine and next week with her son and his family.
I am so thankful that she was able to make this trip, to see her family and spend quality time with her children.

Amazing Grace

Yesterday, our church service was all about grace. The songs we sang reflected grace, amazing, sufficient grace. The sermon was about grace, the active, empowering, strengthening, transforming grace.
This morning, I looked up all the verses in the New Testament that speak of grace. As I read them, I was overwhelmed by the power of grace in our lives. Here is a snapshot of grace, what grace is and what grace does for us.

Grace comes from Jesus, who He is

John 1:14, 16-17

 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth…16 And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. 17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

Grace produces miracles

Acts 4:33

33 And with great power the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all.

Acts 6:8-9

 And Stephen, full of grace and power, was doing great wonders and signs among the people.

Acts 14:3

 3 So they remained for a long time, speaking boldly for the Lord, who bore witness to the word of his grace, granting signs and wonders to be done by their hands.

Grace strengthens us 

Acts 20:32-33

32 And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified.

2 Tim 2:1-3

2 You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, 2 and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.

Grace justifies us 

Rom 3:23-24

23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24  and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,

Rom 5:15-17

15 But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man's trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many. 16 And the free gift is not like the result of that one man's sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brought justification. 17 If, because of one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.

Grace helps us to stand 

Rom 5:1-2

A Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

Grace is transferable 

Eph 4:29-30

29  Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Grace is greater than our sin and the law

Rom 5:20-21

20 Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, 21 so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Rom 11:5-6

5 So too at the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace. 6  But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.

Grace brings gifts to serve

Rom 12:5-8

 6  Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; 8 the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

1 Peter 4:10-11

10  As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: 11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ.

Grace helps us in our time of need

Heb 4:16

16  Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

  

Grace empowers for ministry

Rom 15:15-17

15 But on some points I have written to you very boldly by way of reminder, because of the grace given me by God 16 to be a minister of Christ Jesus to the Gentiles in the priestly service of the gospel of God, so that the offering of the Gentiles may be acceptable, sanctified by the Holy Spirit.

1 Cor 3:10-11

10  According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it.

Eph 3:7-11

7  Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God's grace, which was given me by the working of his power. 8 To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, 9 and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things, 10 so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.

Grace produces good works

1 Cor 15:10

10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.

2 Cor 9:8

8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.

Grace produces generosity

2 Cor 8:1-7

 We want you to know, brothers, about the grace of God that has been given among the churches of Macedonia, 2 for in a severe test of affliction, their abundance of joy and their extreme poverty have overflowed in a wealth of generosity on their part. 3 For they gave according to their means, as I can testify, and beyond their means, of their own free will, 4 begging us earnestly for the favor of taking part in the relief of the saints— 5 and this, not as we expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then by the will of God to us. 6 Accordingly, we urged Titus that as he had started, so he should complete among you this act of grace. 7 But as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness, and in our love for you — see that you excel in this act of grace also.

Grace empowers for any circumstance

2 Cor 12:7-10

7 So to keep me from being too elated by the surpassing greatness of the revelations,  a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from being too elated. 8  Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Grace is rich and lavish

Eph 1:5-10

5  he predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6  to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. 7  In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, 8 which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight 9  making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ 10 as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

Grace brings salvation 

Acts 15:11

11 But we believe that we will be saved through the grace of the Lord Jesus, just as they will."

Eph 2:4-10

4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9  not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

 Grace gives comfort

2 Thess 2:16-17

16 Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, 17 comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.

Grace trains us

Titus 2:11-13

11 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12 training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, 13  waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ,

Grace protects against bitterness

Heb 12:15-16

15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;

Grace enriches us

 Cor 1:4-6

4 I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus, 5 that in every way you were enriched in him in all speech and all knowledge—

Grace is given to the humble 

James 4:6-7

6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God.

1 Peter 5:5-7

5 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." 6  Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7  casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Grace is God's final word to us

Rev 22:20-21

20 He who testifies to these things says, "Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!

21 The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you all. Amen.

Motherhood

Is there anything better, and harder than being a mother? Not really.
My youngest child had her first baby last week. Even before her birth, I spent a lot of time in the last few weeks thinking about my years as a mother. I was not a great mother. Not the mother I wish I had been.
There are a few reasons for that...maybe just excuses... I was young, not quite 20 when we had our first baby, and just 21 when we had our second. I did not know what I was doing, and didn't have any real help. We just figured out the parenting thing the best we could, which was not always good.
Then, we became a part of a church which was very legalistic, with very high standards of behavior, expectations that were impossible to meet. We had church meetings 5 more more times a week. There was considerable pressure to give as much of your time and money as possible to the church. Having a healthy marriage and family life were very low priorities. The answer to any relationship question was that basically human relationships were not really important. There is a lot more to that story, but you can see that we were very stressed parents who, although we loved our children tremendously, we did not have the tools to be really great parents.  We were in that church for 10 years, until our daughters were 13, 12, 6, and a newborn.
For some reason, those years have been on my mind a lot lately, which brought up a lot of feelings of regret, quilt, and shame...not healthy feelings.
This week, I have been in Katy's home, helping her with her new daughter. The time has been so sweet, a healing, peaceful time.
The thing about the past is, well, that it is the past. It is over. I cannot change the past. I know all the facts, that Jesus died for all my sins, that I am forgiven, that He takes away the shame. Still, it is so easy to allow negative thoughts to take control.
The past few days, I have intentionally reminded myself of all the good times. Because there were many, many good times. I loved my children, I enjoyed them most of the time. I loved to read to them, play with them, sing to them, pull them in their little red wagon. As they got older, I loved talking with them, listening to them, visiting about the things that were going on in their lives. I grew and changed.
Today, I was considering Josephs brothers, thinking of how they must have felt when Joseph told them that the terrible thing they had done to him, that they meant for evil, God used for good, to actually save all of their lives, and the lives of many other people. I wonder how much shame and regret those brothers had felt all the many years. 
Josephs words must have brought great freedom to them.
Today, I can watch Katy with her baby and rejoice that my daughters are much better mothers than I was. I can see that each of my four daughters is remarkable, with character and depth that is rare. They love God, and they love other people. They serve and care for others with compassion and empathy. I can also rejoice that today I have a really great relationship with each of my daughters.
I am so grateful that God is full of mercy and compassion, and He truly forgives and restores. My life today is so full and rich and sweet. I am very grateful.

"Beholding"

Yesterday, I was reading and meditating a few verses that speak of our being transformed. What a wonderful realization that God's purpose is that those He has called, chosen, and justified, He will  transform into His image. He never loses sight of that. He never gives up. As Paul said, we are confident that He will complete the work that He has begun in us.

One of the passages I went to was 2 Corinthians 3:17-18  Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord,  are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

I was surprised by the wording in verse 18. Most versions say something like "beholding and reflecting" or "beholding as in a mirror". The English Standard Version, which I was reading,and a version I have found to be very reliable, simply said "beholding".

I checked the word on my Bible software, and found that the word translated behold is the Greek word
katoptrizomai, a compound word made of two Greek words:
KATA: a preposition which means down, about, according to, among, covered... basically a word that joins two words, with varied meanings depending on the words it joins.
OPTANOMIA:  to gaze upon with wide open eyes, as at something remarkable.

I am sure that there is a very good reason that the King James version said "beholding as in a glass",and many versions used similar terminology, but, when I read this verse yesterday, it seemed suddenly so simple, just gaze at Jesus with wide open eyes, because He is remarkable. And, as I gaze at Him, He does the work of transforming me!

I wondered where else the word is used, and found that that particular word, katoptrizomai, is not used anywhere else in the Bible.
The word kata is used 471 times (I didn't count them, my software does that), translated in, against, according, down, by...)
The word optanomia is used 49 times, as in Matt 5:8, Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

I am certainly not a Greek scholar, but, just based on the obvious, without understanding any nuances of the Greek language, it seems that, when Paul wanted a term for behold, he wanted to use a word that would stand out, that would hold a special meaning. To say, "as we are beholding, or looking at Jesus" did not quite do the job. He added another word to make it more meaningful. Don't just look at Jesus, but look at him above, beyond, before, through, in...REALLY look at Him.

We use that method all the time. Instead of saying, "I was excited", I will say, "I was super excited" or "I was so excited". The extra words don't change the meaning, but they add emphasis.

Sometimes, in Paul's letters, He uses extra words, because what He is saying is extremely important, and what He speaks of is in a realm outside of our human experience. I think this is one of those places. What he is communicating is that we have to look at Jesus in a way that we don't look at anything or anyone else. We fix our eyes on Him, seeing Him as the most wonderful amazing person, of more value than anything we could ever see.