Pink Impact Impact!

Last week was our annual trip to Gateway Church for Pink Impact women's conference. Worship was Amazing, incredible, moving, inspiring, exciting...I had never heard Andy Anderson before, and LOVED HIM. He was hilarious. Like Katy said, He was so funny you didn't realize he was making a point, and then it smacks you. That may not be an exact quote from Katy, but that's the jest. Of course, I have heard Beth Moore many times, several times in person and innumerable times on video. I KNEW she would be great, and she was. But the real surprise to me was Holly Wagner. I have heard her before, but, I felt like this week, what she shared had much more depth and impact than before. I think that is what I went away still thinking about, so I will give a brief summary of what Holly shared. Romans 1:1; we are slaves of Jesus Christ, each of us with an assignment. We need Courage to carry out the assignment God gave us. God's word to Joshua in Joshua 1:9, "Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Be courageous! That command comes up so many times. God does not want us to be afraid, because He is with us and He has fully equipped us with power, strength, weapons,a nd protection. Have you noticed that God's armor listed in Ephesians 6 doesn't have anything that covers your backside? Helmet, breastplate, belt, shield, sword, nothing covers your back. Why would that be? Because we are to face our enemies head on. We are not running sway. To be effective, you need to have the Courage to be yourself. Remember what happened when King Saul gave his armor to David to wear to fight Goliath? David couldn't wear it because it didn't fit. David didn't try to fit in Sauls armor and go out to meet Goliath in the way Saul would have done it (if he had and the courage to do it). No, David knew he had to fight Goliath his way. David not only had the courage to face Goliath, but he had the courage to be himself, not fit someone else's mold. Think of Joshua, who had to follow Moses. Talk about a tough act to follow! Deuteronomy 34 says that there had never been anyone like Moses. Moses defeated one of the greatest nations on earth and freed Israel from slavery. When the people were hungry, Moses provided food. When there was no water, Moses struck a rock and water flowed out...Moses was a military commander, judge, administrator, spiritual leader, teacher, and counselor. How could anyone fill those shoes. The one God called could. Moses did nothing on his own. God did it all. God told Joshua, "I will be with you just the way I was with Moses." and He was. Joshua led the people well, led them into the Promised land and led them to defeat their enemies there. God did not duplicate the Miracles that He had done through Moses. God did new things through Joshua...like take out Jericho with marching and blowing trumpets! Joshua didn't need to be Moses, he needed the courage to be himself. We need to know that courage grows in adversity. That makes so much sense, I feel silly writing it. I don't need courage to face the day when I am spending th day with friends or the grandchildren. That's not a problem. Those days don't make my courage grow. Courage doesn't grow when your not afraid. Some flowers have to have a lot of attention. They have to be pruned and watered and fed just right. (I don't have any if those). Then, there are the flowers that grow right up through a crack in the sidewalk. It doesn't get a thing, but there it is. That's the girl I want to be, thriving in the difficult environment, pushing through the concrete to bring beauty. God chooses people to fight the battle. he chooses us to be his mouthpiece, His hand of justice. He needs us to be courageous. Let's not settle. Stand up to do what God calls you to do. Be courageous and be tough.

Korea in October

I am going to Korea in October. 
Anyone who has read this blog knows that I have three grandchildren who are from Korea. All three were adopted through a wonderful agency called Dillon International. A few weeks ago, I received the agency's quarterly newsletter, which had a wonderful story about a recent mission trip the agency sponsored to South Korea, and mentioned that another trip was planned for October. My daughter, Libby sent a text asking if I wanted to go. Although I had not thought about going, I was quick to respond affirmatively. I have wanted to go somewhere to help take care of orphans, and Libby and I have talked about going together. But, we had in mind somewhere more like Uganda or Haiti, where conditions are hard and the need might be greater. So, we waited and prayed. Libby's husband, Mike gave her some good advice, (here I am quoting from her blog!) "He told me that if I'm truly passionate about orphan care, then why wouldn't I go to the place that does it best with the agency that basically developed the most quality orphan care in the world??? Dillon International hs been ministering in South Korea for 40 years. Those children are wll taken care of and the rest of the world could really lean from them." That makes sense, plus, although Libby has been there three times, this trip would give me the opportunity to go to the birthplace of the grandchildren. So, we decided that this is the trip that God was sending us on. 
Dillon works with a great agency there in Seoul, and the trip will involve serving with that agency. We will have the opportunity to hold babies in the nursery, serve special needs children who were not adopted and live in an orphanage, and minister to unwed mothers who live in a special home provided by the agency.  This trip provides the kind of ministry that makes my heart beat faster. Plus, going with Libby is going to be great. AND, her daughter, Abby, is going! WOW, three generations. Traveling with a daughter and grand daughter. What a trip. 

Healthy Fear of God

For a long time, I have tried to find the appropriate balance to the commands to fear God and to love God. I don't like to be told that I should fear God, but I absolutely know that the Bible tells me that. The problem is that when people have said that, they often seem angry and I feel threatened. Many people say that the word actually means to have respect and awe of God, not really fear. But my search of Greek and Hebrew words did not support that thought. The words usually translated fear actually mean "fear". I don't want a "cop-out" rationalization, I want to understand the truth. 

This week, I have studied 1 1:13-21 to prepare for my Sunday School class. I came to verse 17, " And if you address as Father the One who judges impartially based on each one’s work, you are to conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your temporary residence." I asked God to show me really what it means to fear God with a healthy, appropriate fear. 

Here are my thoughts. 

For the unbeliever, the fear of God is the fear of judgment and eternal death,

Matt 10:28-29

28 "Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but ratherfear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

Those who are children of God do not have to fear God in the same way. 

For the believer, the fear is something much different.

A Biblical fear of God for the believer, includes understanding how much God hates sin and fearing His judgment on sin—even in the life of a believer:

Heb 12:5-11

5 and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons,

"MY SON, DO NOT REGARD LIGHTLY THE DISCIPLINE OF THE LORD,

NOR FAINT WHEN YOU ARE REPROVED BY HIM;

6 FOR THOSE WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE DISCIPLINES,

AND HE SCOURGES EVERY SON WHOM HE RECEIVES."

7 It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. 11 All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

As children, the fear of discipline kept us from doing bad or harmful things, even though their discipline was not perfect or always done correctly. God disciplines us in love, for our good, so that we will be holy.

We should fear His discipline and seek to obey Him.

Our overwhelming feeling about God should not be fear. God says that the primary thing He wants is our love.

Our fear of God is a fear of the discipline He will bring to correct us, not fear that He will harm us or reject us.

God has promised that He will never leave us. He has promised that nothing can separate us from His love. We are to be confident that He loves us, that He accepts us and will never abandon us. That confidence should motivate us to follow Him and obey Him. But, if we get off track, we can be sure of His discipline to get us back.

During my study, I ran across a quote that I really enjoyed, from Mike Yaconelli

 "I would like to suggest that the Church become a place of terror again; a place where God continually has to tell us, "Fear not"; a place where our relationship with God is not a simple belief or a doctrine or theology, it is God's burning presence in our lives. I am suggesting that the tame God of relevance be replaced by the God whose very presence shatters our egos into dust, burns our sin into ashes, and strips us naked to reveal the real person within. The Church needs to become a gloriously dangerous place where nothing is safe in God's presence except us. Nothing--including our plans, our agendas, our priorities, our politics, our money, our security, our comfort, our possessions, our needs.

That really sums up what I think is an accurate view of the fear of God that is right for a Christian. "Nothing is safe in God's presence EXCEPT US." 

Porch Swing Dreams

Les and I have been married 40 years. YIKES, that sounds like we are old! Anyway, on to the point. From our early years together, we have dreamed about being radical in our faith walk. A few of our dreams
In 1972-1974, we talked about communal living. We were not hippies, far from it. We were young people with incredibly sheltered lives. We loved the thought of living with other Christian young couples, sharing life in an intimate, every day fellowship.
We also spent time with friends talking about a church plant, starting a non denominational church of people who were hungry for more. (Thank God we didn't try that one!)
For many years, we talked about having a home for single mothers. We thought about having a large house or even buying an old motel, the kind with separate little cottage rooms that were built in the 1930s and 40s. We would renovate it and open it to women in need of housing. Each woman could have her own little space, maybe even with a kitchenet.
Or the large house, renovated motel could be used as a temporary shelter for women leaving abusive relationships.
We have dreamed of living in an inner city area to minister to the community...love on neighborhood children, help with homework, feed the hungry, drive elderly people to doctors appointments, whatever is needed.
In the 90's, we thought that maybe when we retired, we would move to Mexico and start an orphanage. The retirement income that would barely meet our needs here would support a number of children in Mexico. I'm not sure the exchange rate works that well now.
For a few years, we thought about going to China to teach English in a high school for a year or two.
After a friend faced daily chemo treatments, followed by daily radiation treatments for cancer in Fort Worth, a   2 hour drive from her home, we considered buying a house in the Fort Worth hospital district to provide housing for people in that type situation. The need is too great for the Ronald McDonald house to meet.
We enjoy dreaming, imaging what God might do with our willing hearts, but few resources.
Don't misunderstand, we have not spent our lives dreaming about the next big thing. We have had over 100 people stay with us, for periods ranging from one week to one year. We have been very involved in ministries of different kinds with churches we have been a part of. We believe that God calls each one of us to live every day to love Him and love people with zeal. We just like to be open to what that might be.
We still enjoy sitting on the porch swing wondering what God has for us at this stage of our lives. Right now, my heart is so drawn to serving orphans. If we were young, I would be pushing to adopt children from Uganda or Ethiopia. (Our four biological children we raised are probably glad I didn't think of that years ago!) We are too old to do that. We have 8 terrific grandchildren we can pour into, which is a wonderful thing to do. I love doing that. But, still, I believe that God has so much more for us to do.
Years ago, Les decided that retirement years are the "available years". Retired Christians should not feel off the hook for ministry. Those will be the years that we can serve the most, when we don't have so many personal responsibilities. Right now, we are both working. Les sold the commercial building he had his business in and is working from home. That gives him so much more freedom, since he doesn't have overhead. Our children are all raised, taking good care of themselves. They don't need us so much. I have a wonderful job I love very much, and a lot of flexibility.
With all that considered, the doors are open for some pretty big dreams. If you drive by our house in the early morning or evening and see us sitting on the porch swing, we might be dreaming about where God would be taking us. Now, the thought of moving far away from our family is pretty hard to imaging, but, we are very interested in short term trips, maybe spend a month in Uganda, helping Katie Davis take care of the 14 children she has adopted and the countless others she serve (.http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com ).

Spending Freeze Report-I didnt fail, but I didn't suffer

The spending freeze I committed to for Lent (see post of Feb. 19) is over. I did it, I didn't buy new clothes, I didn't buy junk food, I didn't buy spring flowers, but I certainly didn't suffer! Here is a report of how it went.
First, Les said he was not on a spending freeze. So, when he wanted cookies or chips he bought them. I may have eaten a few of his goodies.
I never bought shampoo because I had some little hotel size shampoos I used. I used my just about empty mascarras until two weeks ago when a friend broughtmea new tube. (I didn't ask for it, I promise). The first time I opens the new tube, I was shocked at the great amount of mascarras on the brush. It kind of freaked me out, it was so thick and gooey!
We had all the grandchildren for a few days during spring break and while I was making ice cream from frozen bananas in the food processor, the thing broke! Quit running, and not repairable. I said, fine, I can live without it. However, the next week inWalmart, I saw a food processor on the clearance rack, with a sign that said 50% off the clearance price...a high quality Oster machine for $27! I contemplated the situation and decided that spending $27 now was wiser than spending $70 later, so I bought it. Remember, my game, my rules!
Another breakage was my make up mirror. I have a little vanity nook in a closet, so a lighted mirror is rather important. I have no idea how old the a aforementioned mirror is was, I have  had it that long. Not a necessity, and I didn't run into a deal I couldn't pass up.
I did buy a few things for the grandchildren for Easter. The Gateway Church children's choir released a brand new CD, so I bought one for each family set, and a few small Easter egg things. And, one day when Lexi was here, I gave her the dress I had just finished for her (made from fabric I had on hand) she was so sweet; excited about it, tried it on, wore it around the house, thanked me. I knew that the blue and green pastel floral was NOT her style at all, and I told her tha it will make another one with bright pink fabric. Later, when she asked about the pink fabric, I told her I would take her shopping to pick some out. It wasn't u til we were AT Walmart that I remembered the spending freeze. I swear that's the truth. No way was I going to tell a seven year old that I couldn't spend $5 on fabric for her at that point.
So, altogether, with the blender, Easter gifts, and Lexi's fabric, I spent $52. during the six weeks.
Now, about the new dress. My husband went to Bealls on Saturday while I was running an errand and ought me a dress. I promise, promise, promise I had not whined or co planned about not having a new dress for Easter. I did not need or even want anything. But, he had seen some dresses in a catalogue that were very retro, looked like something Audrey Hepburn would have worn, styles from the early 60's. He really liked them. He went to Bealls on Saturday and bought me a beautiful dress, then went back when he found out I didn't haves white purse, becaus he felt that that was needed to complete the look.
I know, that was a little like cheating, buti really had nothing todo with it. I did, however enjoy wearing that dress on Sunday.
So, what did I gain from my experience?
A sense of freedom. When a thought came to mind about buying some item for the house, or when I got a sale flyer or coupon in the mail, I didn't have to consider if I could afford to send the money, if I really needed it, if it would be selfish or extravagant. I just said to myself, "spending freeze" and it as over. No battle.
I also saved a lot of time. I'd didn't stop by Bealls or JC Penney just to see the new spring clothes, or go to Burkes Outlet to check out the bargains. When I went to Walmart for necessities I didnt walk through the linens or clothes just to look.
I felt disciplined. Not buying anything for myself felt good.
Today is Friday. I have not been shopping. No flowers for the yard, no spring sandals, not even a new make-up mirror. So, the experiement was a success.

Unexpected, but needed, Day of Rest

Right now, I am in the car wash waiting room having the oil changed and the dirt washed off of my car. The oil change is 1,000 miles past due, but Les said that's not bad, I usually double the recommended miles before I take time to have it changed.
Normally, My Wednesdays are packed, but today turned out to be a slow down day, which I really needed. But let me back up.
Last week was really busy, in fact the last month has been extremely busy. I love my life. I love what I do. I don't ever think that I might be too busy. On top of normal weekly events that I do, last week was the week of Easter, and we had our annual Easter outreach cookie giveaway. (I already reported on that...so much fun.) Friday afternoon, I kept trying to get things done around the house to prepare for the family coming on Sunday, but I just did not have any energy. I told Les I thought maybe I was sick becaus I had NO energy and my legs ached. He said (with lots of unnecessary sarcasm), "Jeannette, your tired. That happens. You need to accept that you are (I don't have to actually write my age, do I) and you need to rest."
We'll, that was helpful. I sat down to read, but fell asleep. Since I couldn't seem to do anything else, I rested. I slept 8 hours Friday night (6 hours is a normal full night). I did a little cleaning and cooking Saturday, but not as much as I wanted to do. I slept like a rock Saturday night too. (is anyone still reading this?) so, Sunday was wonderful, Monday I had a light day, and had a meeting cancelled. Tuesday was regular. Then, I realized that most of our regular ladies at the Wednesday noon study are out of pocket, so we cancelled. Then, last night I got a text canceling our weekly Wednesday morning staff meeting, so I had this morning to rest, study, and get the car taken care of.
There is a point to all of this! I have a hard time slowing down. I like to go and go. For a couple of weeks, I felt like God was telling me to slow down, but I successfully ignored the little twinge. God said, "I said you need to slow down and I mean it." He made sure I rested when I felt like I couldn't because I had so much to do, then He gave me the gift of extra down time I the middle of the week, on what is usually one of my fullest days. I am grateful.
Now, I am ready for,whatever He has next!

He is Risen...still

Well, I had planned on and hoped to write a really great post on Easter Sunday. Something very inspiring and moving about the magnicance of the resurrection of Jesus. Jesus has overcome, He is alive! I love that we take time to celebrate His resurrection. I love being part of worship that celebrates resurrection on Easter, and I love to hear sermons about resurrection.
At Cottonwood yesterday, we had a great celebration with music, teaching, and
baptistim. At home, we celebrated with a big family dinner. Altogether, a lovely day, but no time for blogging.
So, today, I opened the blog and thought, "Well, He is still risen."
That's the really great thing. Resurrection is not just a holiday to celebrate. Resurrection means a new life everyday. The resurrection of Jesus means my sins are forgiven, every day; I have access to resurrection power, every day; Jesus is in heaven interceding for me, every day; Satan and death are defeated, every day; I can live in victory and freedom, every day...so today, I am celebrating that Jesus is risen, still! So, happy day after Easter Resurection celebration day, everyone.

The In-Between Waiting Saturday

Today is the Saturday between Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday. Today, that means cleaning and cooking, and getting ready for a Resurrection Celebration tomorrow, at Cottonwood, and at home. Today is not a bad day at all, but this morning, I was thinking about what this day was like 2000 years ago, the day after the crucifixion. For the followers of Jesus, this day was not the day between two special days. This day was the end of everything.
For three years, a few people had given everything to be a follower of Rabbi Jesus, the one they believed was the Messiah, sent by God to restore Israel and bring in the Kingdom of God.
On Passover, Jesus was crucified, and most of them ran. I was thinking what life is like the day after a terrible tragedy. The day of a tragedy is hard, but, usually we don't think it is real. We feel like we are in a dream, a nightmare, and hope that we will wake up tomorrow and it will be over. When we wake up, reality strikes.
That must have been how the disciples felt. This is real. Jesus is dead, buried. No Messiah, no Kingdom. The ride is over. No hope.
We know that resurrection is coming tomorrow, Hallelujah! We have hope. But, still the day between crucifixion and resurrection is hard. The waiting time. We know that tomorrow is coming, but we don't know exactly what it will look like.
Right  now, I am not there. My life is full of resurrection moments and experiences. But I have certainly been there. Today, I am thinking about the many people I love who are living out an in-between, waiting Saturday. I am thinking about them today, praying for them to have strength, grace, peace, and perseverance.

Some are waiting for the man God will bring for them to marry. They have been ready for years now, waiting for the right person they will share their life with.
Others are married, and waiting for their spouse to catch the fire for Christ and follow him fully.
Some are waiting for babies, every month dragging by with fresh disappointment and longing hearts.
Some are waiting for a divorce to be final, waiting in pain for something they never wanted, but now waiting for this period of life to be over so they can move on.
Some are waiting for the career job. Four years of college behind them, facing school loans, and no job.
One friend is waiting, but not sure for what. She is just uncertain, feeling unfulfilled and frustrated.
Some close friends are waiting for adult children to give their lives to Christ. They were raised in church, hearing the truth, but as adults have turned away. Their parents hearts are breaking as they wait.
Some I know are waiting for a breakthrough. They struggle along in emotional or spiritual bondage and wait for something to snap so they will be free.

The Saturday between is HARD. But, we know, we know, that Sunday is coming, and with it resurrection. Those poor first followers of Jesus didn't know. They thought it was over, but we know.
I love the record of the resurrection in Luke 24. The women went to the tomb to anoint Jesus body with spices, but the tomb was empty...
" While they were perplexed about this, behold, two men suddenly stood near them in dazzling clothing; and as the women were terrified and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, "Why do you seek the living One among the dead?  "He is not here, but He has risen. Remember how He spoke to you while He was still in Galilee,  saying that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again." And they remembered His words," Luke 24:4-9
"Why do you seek the living one among the dead" are words that stir my spirit. He is the Living One we are looking for. We don't keep staring into an empty tomb, that doesn't help anything. We look to Him.
"Remember how He spoke to you..." What great advice. During the waiting, in between Saturday experiences, we can remember how Jesus has spoken to us.
AND, we can remember with such confidence and assurance, because we KNOW that resurrection is coming. Resurrection is sure.

A Very Good Good Friday

            Cottonwood Women have a new tradition. For the last three years around holidays, we have packaged cookies in zip lock bags, attached a note to each bag that is appropriate to the holiday, that tells of God's love, and hand out these gifts in businesses around the area. Our hope is that God will use these little gifts to draw people to Himself. This week, for Easter, a family gave out cookies in Hamilton, a couple went out in Comanche, and a group of women went out in DeLeon.
           Thanks to the generous assistance of a lot of women, today we had HUNDREDS of baggies of cookies to give out in Dublin and Stephenville. As we always do, we had a great time. It is amazing how much fun it is to go to a stranger, say, "We would like give you cookies for Easter. Happy Easter, have a blessed day" or something like that. People are surprised, but usually pleased.  Today our group included 3 year old twins,a five year old, and men and women of all ages. 
         We were so blessed to have with us a man who very recently came out of a very dark place. I won't share details, but he has a background of drug abuse, gang membership, and prison. A few weeks ago, he came to a decision to turn his life around, and he has. 
          So, today, he joined us as we went out into the community. He brought so much joy. He came along just to carry to boxes for us, but once he started to give out the cookies, we couldn't stop him, or keep up with him. He was giving cookies away before the rest of us could catch up. He was smiling from ear to ear. He kept telling me how much fun he was having.  This man is experiencing true resurrection life. He has a new life, new friends, new joy and peace. 
          I am so grateful to be in a place where I see God at work in the hearts of men.